If there’s one thing we, as a society, can all agree on, it’s the pure joy that comes from watching a Christmas movie. It doesn’t matter if you’ve watched it a billion times or even multiple times in one day (a distinct possibility if you’re the parent of a toddler); there’s truly nothing like curling up on the couch and watching a holiday-themed film. And yet, despite all the merriment that comes from this annual tradition, I’ve started to notice a distinct pattern in a lot of these movies, particularly now that I’m a mom — and that’s the appalling behavior of almost every Christmas movie dad.
Seriously, what is with these guys? Over and over again, throughout countless Christmas classics, I witnessed so many of the family patriarchs fall short of their duties, both on the husband and parenting fronts. And yet, their behavior is deemed acceptable. In fact, in most of the storylines, they are considered the good guys. Heck, sometimes they’re even portrayed as the heroes, while the moms are off to the side, cheering them on and shrugging off their childish antics with a smile.
It’s an overused formula and one that I’m getting tired of seeing on my television screen. Because as much as I love these beloved holiday films, the fact of the matter is that Christmas movie dads need to do better than just the bare minimum.
Walter Hobbs from Elf
Papa Elf may have been a top-notch fatherly figure, but when it came to Buddy’s biological dad, Walter Hobbs continuously fell short. He was grouchy, wanted nothing to do with Buddy for the bulk of the movie, and was mainly focused on preserving his job above all else — although he didn’t seem to care much about it either, given that he was totally fine publishing a children’s book that was missing two pages.
But even if he was producing quality work at the company (which, again, he was not), that still doesn’t excuse how he continuously treated his family. He took zero interest in the day-to-day lives of his wife, Emily, and their son, Michael. Instead, he tried to push Buddy off on them and make him their problem so he wouldn’t have to deal with it.
Sure, you can say that he ultimately learned his lesson by the end of the film, but let’s remember that we’re talking about a fully grown adult man. It should not have taken him that long to correct his behavior. From the look of things, he was a terrible and inconsiderate husband/father long before Buddy arrived. So, why does he automatically get to be forgiven just because he begrudgingly sings a couple of lyrics to “Santa Claus Is Coming To Town”? Make it make sense!
Peter McCallister from Home Alone
There’s a reason Kate McCallister is such a memorable character. And, OK, yes, it’s partly because the amazingly talented Catherine O’Hara played her. But it’s also because she simply did so much more than any other family member, apart from Kevin himself. From being the only one to stop and pay the pizza delivery guy at the start of the movie to serving as the disciplinarian to Kevin when he shoves Buzz for eating his cheese pizza, it’s clear a lot of the responsibilities and daily tasks of both the household and the family fall to her.
Peter plays no part in any of this and continues to sit back and let his wife do all the work even when they discover Kevin was left behind. Kate stays at the airport, begging and bartering with fellow travelers to give her their plane ticket so she can get back to her son. Meanwhile, Peter leaves her to it and goes to meet up with the rest of the family, assuring her that Kevin will probably be fine. Umm, you don’t know that, dude. It is completely reasonable to be worried and concerned right now, even if you fail to exhibit any of these emotions.
It’s easy to empathize with the mental turmoil Kate is going through as she spirals over what could happen to her boy. But Peter? He’s almost indifferent. You don’t feel a sense of urgency from him to get home. There’s not even a desire to stay with his wife at the airport for emotional support. I shouldn’t be rooting for Kevin’s mom to get a divorce in the midst of all this stress. And yet… I kinda am?!
Scott Calvin from The Santa Clause
Before transforming into jolly ole Saint Nick, Scott proved to be a pretty lousy father. He was neglectful and selfish and prioritized his job above everything else. Even when he became Santa, a figure he knows children love and respect, he would criticize and demean Charlie’s stepdad, Neil, right in front of him. It was a poor example to set for Charlie and demonstrated how little respect he had for his ex-wife. Also, let’s not forget that he legit killed the other Santa before replacing him and showed pretty much zero remorse about it. Sure, it was an honest mistake — he didn’t mean to make the guy fall off his roof — but still! Show some humanity, man.
Howard Langston from Jingle All the Way
Don’t let Arnold Schwarzenegger’s charm and muscles distract you from the fact that his character is entirely to blame for all the chaos and damage caused throughout the movie. If he had just listened to his wife and gotten the Turbo Man action figure when she told him to, they could’ve simply enjoyed the holiday as a family. But he didn’t, so insanity ensued. In the end, he came off as a hero to his kid. Even you, as a viewer, may have found yourself marveling at everything he went through to make his son’s Christmas a happy one. But he caused the problem in the first place. He didn’t solve anything. He simply tried to fix an issue he had created. That doesn’t (or shouldn’t) deserve a reward or praise.
Clark Griswold from National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation
From his demonstrated road rage at the start of the film to his wildly inappropriate remarks to his female neighbor, this guy is a horrible representation of what it should mean to be the patriarch of the family. Not to mention how he always shrugs off his wife’s advice (despite the fact that she’s the only voice of reason in the family) and creepily fantasizes about the saleswoman he met at the mall — you know, the one he lied to about being divorced. Now, obviously, I understand that the over-the-top hijinks and outlandish storylines are the main appeal of this holiday favorite. It’s meant to be ridiculous and not a genuine representation of what a healthy family dynamic should be like. I get it. But, for me, it still represents a tired trope of the husband getting to be the fun, goofy, wild card that makes us laugh without facing any consequences for his actions, while the wife is the calm, responsible one who observes everything from the sidelines.
The Old Man from A Christmas Story
Ralphie’s dad isn’t even given a name or even referred to as “dad” at all, even in Adult Ralphie’s voiceover narration. He’s legitimately credited as The Old Man, which speaks volumes to how attentive and helpful he is toward his kids. Oh, and let’s not forget the very classy and not-at-all-inappropriate leg lamp he won and proudly displayed out their front window for all to see. Very demure. Very mindful.
Harry from Love Actually
I mean, the guy cheated on his wife. We may not know to what extent he cheated, whether it was strictly mentally and emotionally, as shown by the generous Christmas gift he gave to his young and flirty assistant, or if it eventually led to something on a physical level. Either way, he wasn’t being a good husband. And yet, at the end of the movie, when she and the kids greet him at the airport, they still seem to be together. They were clearly unhappy, and the marriage was definitely suffering — but she appeared to be trying to forgive him. Does he deserve it, though? He only admitted to the wrongdoing when he was caught. Otherwise, it may never have been brought to light.
These are not the kind of men young boys should emulate, nor are they the type of guys young girls should think they have to tolerate. Sure, these are just fictional movie characters created for entertainment’s sake, but tropes are tropes for a reason. Our kids deserve better dad role models than this… and not just during the holidays, but every damn day of the year.
